Ever since I could remember, I dreamed of being an artist. I even drew on my bedroom walls in bright red crayon. Unfortunately, I didn’t get quite the response I was hoping for! Luckily most of my scribbles were behind the door. Looking back, I think I was afraid of being seen, even as a toddler.
After high school, I was terrified of getting an art degree. I doubted my creativity. I had trouble expressing myself. I didn’t know where I fit in.
So I decided to pursue my second love, engineering. I drew all day long, but it was with a straight edge and pencil or computer software. Everything was calculated and I could easily hide behind the scenes. It was the ideal career choice for me. Definitely challenging, but perfectly safe.
Unfortunately, there was always that gnawing feeling of something missing… the freedom to create, be outside the box, to remove the boundaries on where I could go or what I could accomplish. I wanted the exact opposite of what I had become. I think that's who I really was all along, I just didn’t know how to express it and make it work for me. And honestly? I was downright terrified of it.
I remember growing up hating to hear the word “no”. I always did the exact opposite of what my mother asked me to do. So “do not touch” was of course, me sneaking around when she wasn’t looking, and touching whatever it was that was off limits. I always had to explore and experience things for myself.
And so AH4 was born out of a necessity for freedom.
With AH4, I find myself free of restrictions, “touching” self expression (usually when no one is looking)... trying to move past the fear, the wanting to hide and play it safe, exploring the limitlessness of art, the total acceptance of “me”.
Looking back, I realized I had always flirted with art on the side. The painting and Color Theory classes I took taught me how to mix colors and understand value and saturation. In the Interior Design classes, I drew layout of rooms and learned to visually present the project’s conceptual design. There were also graphic arts, photography and drawing classes, to name a few. When I couldn’t afford curtains, I would find ways to creatively hang tablecloths. I realized you didn’t need a lot of money to make a big impact. It just took some creative thought and an engineering mind to make it happen.
With AH4, I try to see potential in every piece. I love taking something and making its weakest part the strongest feature. Flaws, obstacles, imperfections all get merged into the creative flow, to make something better than it was before.
I’ve even found the kinship between art and living a healthy, happy life. When I was chronically ill, I understood in an extremely personal way, the importance of removing toxins from your life. With AH4, I’ve found it’s possible to make my art with non-toxic, environmentally friendly products. As a nature lover, I can help to save trees and reuse what might have been discarded. Everything that seemed so disconnected in the past, now all makes sense.
What I want most of all is to share my journey with those who need some encouragement to try something new. I try to see the best in everyone and everything. Not just every piece, but every person. This will be a community for anyone wishing to express themselves. To see something differently. To experience creativity for the enjoyment of it. To learn. To laugh. To grow. And to stand together to help make a more beautiful world in any way possible. To see potential, in a place where no one says “no”!